I met with Joy last Friday. I messed up in my time coordinating and ended up going to Universal Pasta on Chestnut instead of Pasta Pomodoro on Union street.  But we did get our meeting started.  I think blogging my career, personal life is very helpful.  Since I last posted, I've picked up a few more tutoring accounts. So now, it looks like I'll have tutoring work on Sun, Mon, Wed, Th, Fri for the time being (5 days or about 14 hours/week). That should tie me over for the mean time, just to pay bills.

One of the big concerns I have is getting a loan adjustment on Telegraph. I really need to fix this rate so that this unit can recover the decreased market value. I spoke with cousin Nancy last week. She said that her mom stopped paying the mortgage as soon as they filed the loan modification application. Basically, that means they took a huge hit on credit by missing two payments. But in the long run, her mom's credit will recover and they can casually pay back the loan on a modified rate of 2% for 40 years.

As for my website businesses, I've come to certain conclusions. I think I need to start the websites with an outsourced firm from India or China. It's easier to stay in full control, not have to share authority, manage my schedule, and focus on sales/marketing. I just need to find an extremely cheap outsource company that I can trust to make a solid product for me.  I can pay as I want and just scale the business as it gets bigger/busier.

Let's get this going!

10:22am. I'm blogging already. Is that good timing? I woke up at 8:30, but fell asleep again and got up just before 9:30. So far, I've washed up, washed my dishes from last night, heated up some breakfast, checked my fantasy football leagues, and now I'm blogging.

Things I need to do today:
1) prepare for the JobNob event on Thurs
2) work on my websites
3) send out some job apps
4) do some more writing
5) exercise

I've been thinking about what I love. As an adult, I'm more aware of my true interests, yet the older I get the less professional these things feel.

1) I'm a hard core sports fan. I love to keep up with the 3 major sports: football, basketball, and baseball. I spend countless hours playing fantasy leagues, every year. I never get tired of sports. I also like tennis and snowboarding, and I have a new appreciation for golf.  I will continue to play sports until my legs cannot hold me up or my arms cannot bend.

Career-wise, I think it would be hard to find a job in the sports world. Broadcasting, of course, would be tough as most stations are cutting back on staff. News is a major cost center rather than a revenue center. And in this economy, we're seeing news stations cut back. Places like KRON now force their reporters to shoot as a one-man-band. 

As for print, the once untouchable Sports Illustrated looks more like a pamphlet than it does a magazine. Other than the swim suit issue, very few of the issues are worth buying. As print advertising budgets shrink, SI is printing fewer and fewer pages. Overall, their efforts have gone online. I think both print and broadcasting industries are bowing down to the Internet. Advertising dollars are going toward the web because it's easier to measure results on the web than it is to measure advertising in the broadcast and print industries. Also, websites are cheaper to run than print or broadcast operations, so CEOs are starting to reconsider sinking more money into traditional media. Given that advertising budgets have shrunk in general, the strength of the internet has weakened the income of print and broadcasting.

Sports Information Departments: College. I've had my stints at both the Stanford and SFSU SIDs. Although the Stanford athletic department runs a high-class sophisticated operation, the pay scale is very low. While I was there, the junior SIDs told me that salaries are low, and people do it because they love Stanford sports. In fact he said that $65,000 would be a high salary for an SID. What? That sucks!

As for professional sports, I've heard similar rants about the pay scales. People do it because they love the team. Jed once told me he would not take any offers from neither the Trailblazers nor Mavericks because they don't pay well enough for him to quit his day job. That sucks! The pro teams pay exorbitant millions to the athletes, but piddly squat to the supporting staff.  (But I must say that the sports teams are more accurate than corporate America in their way of paying top producers... more later). The truth is that fans come to see the athletes play the sport, not to see administrative people sit behind a desk and do administrative things. So the money goes where the money comes from.

So what could I do in the sports industry?

I'm trying to get up earlier. Instead of 10:30am, I'm trying for 8:30am. Monday was good and I got ready for both appointments before 10am.

I typically need one hour to complete my morning routine. I'm not a morning person, so it takes a while before I feel awake and can think clearly.  Today, I got up at 8:50am and was able to do a few more things in the morning.

Today, I need to set up a tutoring time for Lillian Laszlo's daughter Michelle and her friend. Lillian wants me to give them a discount for doing a 2 on 1 session. I calculated that I cannot give them a 50% discount as I would not be making more money. I calculated that the win-win situation would be a 15-20% discount, which would give them a significant savings of below market rates and provide me with a raise as well.

As for the rest of today, I need to talk with cousin Nancy about loan modification and how I can apply in a way similar to her. She received 2 modifications on 2 properties! And she did it without a lawyer! I need to recalculate my net income according to the bank loan application forms instead of 1040 IRS format.

I've got to start programming my VisualDater, SnowHookup, and car websites. Boonex software will be the launchpad software to look legit until I can find some programmers who are able to create a new backbone for me. I need to prepare for the JobNob event on Thursday at Jillians. I need to make some temporary business cards and some one page descriptions of the positions that I need to launch my websites.

The TV biz looks hurt. Met Sherry Hatamiya last week. She just got laid off from KRNV (NBC Reno). Man, that sucks. I haven't been on air for 9 years now! What? That long ago? Wow! That means my friends, like Suzanne Phan have been on air for more than 12 years! Dang!

Good news: I'm number one in both of my fantasy football leagues! So Rich!!!! I'm especially proud of the fact that I'm number 1 in the French Canadian league, despite the fact that I have the lowest number of fantasy points in the entire league! For the league that I commish, I've got the second most fantasy points to Fresno Vikings. He friggin has an amazing lineup (Drew Brees, Frank Gore, Marques Colston)! Nasty!

I'm thinking of trying out for a musical... maybe in a community theater or something like that.

I've always wanted to join a comedy group, improve group, or the open mic circuit.

I'm starting this blog over again. In some ways, it's a refreshing way to start my career over. But yeah, I haven't entered anything in here since April of 2007.

So now, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. I'm 37 years old and I'm facing a mid-life crisis. I haven't found a career that could take over TV reporting as a passion for me. Deep down, I know that I would do TV again if I didn't have to sacrifice a comfortable personal life.

The sacrifices/bads of TV life:
- low pay ($20,000 is good? are you kidding me?)
- start in small markets (obscure cities that are backward, slow, uneventful)
- no guarantee to make it to a city that I like
- dying industry - stations are shutting down or downsizing drastically
- high stress, rampant gossip, jealousy is common, distrust amongst employees
- hard to get hired, easy to get fired
- no ownership into the company. in the end, you're just another brick in the wall. executives and advertisers are the only ones dealing with money

The goods about TV life:
- first hand experience with breaking news
- a new adventure daily! Literally! Not the "so-called adventure" that office people claim
- interviewing is fun... digging into important people's lives, asking what everyone wants to ask
- telling stories on tape and on camera
- going to different places all the time

TV is great because I find excitement in chasing ambulances, interviewing people, writing scripts, and performing on camera. I like the sense of daily accomplishment that I feel when I do TV. Sometimes TV was so hectic, that I wished that I could just report from the news desk.

But what else can I do that will not cause me to feel restless?

I can't sleep right now. I feel like I'm getting old. I'm not progressing right now. I'm frustrated. I don't have a grasp of where I'm going with life.
I have happy/sad feelings when I look at Facebook. When I see the pictures of Lexington Catholic people, I get a little depressed to think how old I actually am. I lie to myself and everyone when I act young. I don't want them to know that I'm 37. It scares me sometimes. Some would say I'm past my prime!
I'm still restless about life. I feel like I just can't seem to do something that defines who I am. I'm restless about my career. I'm frustrated that I haven't found anything that makes me wake up.
Ever since I left the TV business, i've never found anything exciting enough for me to feel inspired on a daily basis. I don't know why, but I feel that I'm called to chase ambulances, ask tough questions that put people on the spot, and speak in public. I like to write what's on my mind, more than just report the facts. But I think I'd be even better at reporting now compared to when I did it 10 years ago. The industry is dying as reporting is going online now.
Newspapers are dying left/right. TV stations are cutting back on staff and trying to focus on their websites.
What else can I do?
In terms of relationships, I'm still frustrated. I've never truly fallen mutually in love with a girl. I've had girls go crazy about me, but I haven't felt the same way for them. I've fallen head over heels for girls, only to be sadly devastated by rejection. I wish I could just find that perfect partner who makes me better at everything. She fits me because of her personality, beliefs, values, sense of humor, principles, and mutual attraction.
I struggle every day with the issue of sex in Post Modern society. Virginity is worthless in America. The modernization of contraception and post-encounter prevention has made viriginity a worthless status.
In other countries, virginity is still highly valued. That's why sexual trafficking of young girls is still prevalent in third world countries. The enslavement of young girls into prostitution is the only way that third world sex traffickers can avoid the spread of AIDS. A girl's “worth” is initially highest while she is still a virgin. Then it is further diminished when she becomes pregnant.
In America, a girl can protect herself from disease and thus elevate her value because she is never truly the object defined by men. In this Post Modern generation, women in the US define their own worth. And in many ways, the American/Western woman also defines a man's status by judging him according to her own status.
Only in first world countries, like the US can a woman care so much about a man's appearance. I would agree with my friends who have told me that girls in third world countries don't care as much about how a guy looks or dresses. But in the US, a man's appearance can weigh more heavily than his personality, values, character, talents, etc. The only other factor that has not changed in valuation of a man is wealth. Money will remain a measurement of a man's value until eternity.