If I won powerball...

I would be different from most lottery winners. Recently, I heard about some guy in West Viriginia who won the $314 milliion jackpot. Honorable as he is, he did donate a significant amount of money to three churches. I respect that and I would do that too. In fact I would single-handedly pay off the new building for SCBC. (I noticed that SCBC is a little behind on the commitments and the collection of donatioins for it's buildings). I would also donate several million to the church I attended while I was an undergrad, (University Presbyterian). I would also fund my friends who are full time missionaries at various campus ministries and in other countries. I would provide enough for these full time missionaries to live in a comfortable lifestyle. Often they receive only enough to pay rent and feed themselves.

Oh yeah, I speaking of generosity, I've always wanted to donate to my alma mater. But wait, which one would I give to? Most people would think I would give money to the big name school, the one with the prestige behind it. I did get my master's from Hahhhh-vahhhhd. NO! NO! NO! I will not give one cent to HaaAAH-VaaaHHHHD! I would give a few million to UCLA...as long as they name some building (at least better than a bathroom!) after me....

Harvard NO!

Yes! Go Bruins!

What else would I do with the money? Well, if I took the lump sum of the $314M in present value, it would be something like $115M. then after taxes, I'd be left with about $50M. Okay, so I'd be left with about as much as a Shaq makes after you add up his salary and advertisements. So what would I do with it?

1. Buy a houseMy house must have 1) a dance floor with a bomb-ass speaker system, 2) an indoor basketball court, 3) a tennis court, 4) a movie theater with surround sound, 5) a game room

2. Buy a TV station in a small market

3. Buy a stick shift... and not care that I don't know how to drive manual!

4. Buy stocks, bonds, and other investments just to diversify my money

5. Buy my professional level video camera (DVCpro) and editing suite

6. Throw a big phat party in my new house with my "get jiggy" dance floor



Okay, Okay, Okay...... All these material things have their temporary value....

But the thing that I want to do more than anything is hold a press conference. That usually happens, whether I initiate or the lottery does it. Anyways, I would bring every rejection letter that I ever received from employers and schools and read the names of every person who ever rejected me for an opportunity.

Then I would say "In Yo Face!!!!! You're still workin'. And I never have to work again!!!!!"

Next, I would read off all of the names of girls who never gave me a chance or never considered me "worthy" for their standards.
And I would say "You're NOT WORTHY!!@!@!@! You're NOT WORTHY!@!@!@!!@@!"

Lastly, I would buy every company that canned me. I would sign the employees who tormented me to contracts. The contracts would entail that they are unable to work for any competitors for a whole year if they are fired for any reason. I would force them to sign it. And immediately, I would fire them.

Ahhhhhh, that would be the sweetest thing to do if I had $314 million dollars.

That's all for now.